The Loss
by Bravestargazer
Summary: a sad one-shot. nicos loses a demigod. rated t causes im paranoid


Hey guys, here is my first Percy Jackson story… Hope you like it. Please not too many flames, I'm still a beginner. This is about Nico, hes just thinking. Kinda sad, be prepared. So here it is!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own PJ&O or any of the characters

I walked through the grass staring at the graves, wondering how their lives must have been before that fateful day. I felt the cool wind hit me, it sent goose bumps up and down my arms. My jacket couldn't keep the cold out today. I welcomed the cold because, in its own way, it was a path to pain.

_I deserve this…_

_I couldn't save her, she's gone because of me._

_If I had just been a little faster I could have been there._

_There were just too many._

I had lost a demigod. Her name was Jenny, she was only ten, daughter of Apollo. I had been too late. I was distracted and…

It was all etched permanently in the back of my head, each moment playing back over and over again in slow motion. That heart stopping scream right before the end, still ringing in my ears. The look on her face was seared into my brain.

She was so innocent, just beginning her life. It wasn't her fault that she was born a demigod, she should have had a full life but now she won't.

_Because of me._

I still remember Percy's words of comfort, Annabeth giving me a look of pity, and everyone's eyes on me. I knew what they thought. If I wasn't enough of an outcast before I definitely was one now. I could practically hear their thoughts:

_He brings death to everyone he meets_

_I knew he would screw it up_

_It makes sense that a son of Hades would lose a demigod on a quest_

I felt the judgmental stares burning into the back of my skull I couldn't take it any longer. It had been a week and I was done. That's how I ended up here.

_I wish I could have saved you, it should have me…_

I dug my nails into my palms so hard that I started to bleed. The pain felt good. It felt like I was letting the emotions out through the pain.

A sudden gust of wind pushed against my back. I released the pressure on my hands. I let out a sigh and looked up to the sky. The clouds that were once there seemed to have disappeared from sight leaving the breathtaking view of stars gleaming and a half moon shinning down on him.

I admired the sky for a while longer. I looked around and checked my phone. It was midnight, I had been here thinking for over three hours. It had only seemed like a few minutes. As I turned to leave I heard a whisper. I turned and saw no one. My guard went up as I surveyed the area. There was another whisper.

_Turn around_

I did and I stood face to face with her. It was Jenny, she looked the same way she did right before she died. She had a blue glow around her. Then she began to speak.

_Nico, it's not your fault_

_Yes it is I couldn't save you!_

_You did all you could, it's not your fault_

_No! I should have been faster!_

_Nico…_

_I should have protected you, I should have been there!_

_Nico…_

By that time I had tears in my eyes, I was aching all over with grief. I couldn't get the image of her face and the sound of her scream out of my head. I had my head down, I shook my head. Tears now were running down my cheeks with no signs of stopping.

_Nico you need to let go, it was never your fault. You did your best_

_Well my best wasn't good enough _

_Let go, just let go. I forgave you long ago, now it's time for you to forgive yourself._

I looked up at her and she smiled. At that moment a rush of calm rolled over me and I felt truly peaceful for the first time since Bianca's death. She spoke again.

_Nico it was never your fault._

When she said that I knew she wasn't just talking about her death, she was talking about Bianca's too.

She said a goodbye and disappeared. I turned and looked up. I admired the sky a bit longer and then shadow traveled home. Percy was waiting at my cabin. He looked like he was worried, after a couple of seconds I made my presence known. That worried look was replaced by one of relief then a bit of anger.

_Where the hell were you?_

_Sorry I needed to clear my head_

_Next time let me know! I was freaking out wondering where you were!_

_Well you can relax, I'm fine._

_Good._

He smiled at me and pulled me into a hug. At first I felt awkward but I gave up and just hugged him back. For the first time in a long time I felt like someone cared.

Percy left to his cabin. I got changed and slipped into bed. I fell asleep quickly. That night I didn't get any nightmares. I slept soundly that night.


End file.
